"You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
Exodus 20:17
In the last commandment, we see that the call to not covet leads us to find our satisfaction in God alone. When we shift our focus from what others have to what God has graciously provided, we discover the secret of contentment. In this Sunday's Manhattan message, Pastor Amy Perez encourages us to realign our desires, put God at the center, and find true fulfillment in His presence rather than in pursuit of more.
The Boundary of Desire
- In ancient Israelite society, as in many ancient cultures, the concept of coveting was significant because it often led to actions that disrupted community harmony and violated God's commandments.
- The desire for what belongs to another was seen as a root of many sins, including theft, adultery, and murder.
- In this final commandment, we see that it is based solely on the posture of one’s heart. You can be coveting and those around you would not necessarily know.
"The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
I have a goodly heritage."
Psalm 16:5-6
- Coveting is a boundary-crossing sin: to look at what your neighbor has and delight, pleasure or deeply long for it. It’s a posture of the heart that trespasses on your neighbor’s life.
- You are not your neighbor, and what separates you from another is a boundary of everything contained in you: your will, your emotions, your thought life, your soul, your story.
- You need separation or differentiation to become an individual. You need to know where you end and another begins.
The Mirage of More
- Coveting isn’t just about stuff—it’s about what you believe will satisfy your soul. The act of coveting promises what it can never deliver, and the mark for satisfaction keeps moving further and further away.
“The essence of sin is disordered love.”
St. Augustine
- It’s not that we necessarily love all the wrong things, but that our desires are not in the right order.
- When we covet, it makes us into idolaters because we are worshipping something above God.
- The Tenth Command ties us right back to the first: No other gods before Yahweh.
- Coveting is about loving your neighbor and worshipping God, but mixed in here: it’s also about you.
- The command to “love your neighbor as yourself.” implies a sense of honor and respect for yourself that you carry over to those around you.
- The problem isn’t just that we trespass our neighbor’s boundary, whether in our heart or with our actions, but the problem is that we do not value or think we have enough within our own boundaries.
- We don’t want to experience the pain of our own limitations, so we covet as a way to escape.
- We don’t want to accept what God gives us or trust him with our lack. Coveting allows me to do it my way.
- Oftentimes we really just want God to be the God we want him to be, to be the God who gives us what we want, when we want it.
The Secret of Contentment
"Not that I am referring to being in need, for I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
Philippians 4:11-13
- We do not understand the abundance God wants to give us, focusing on the things that we lack instead of the fullness available to us.
- Paul states here that even in the face of torture he has the secret: He can do all things through the God who strengthens him.
- But it’s not just that we have this secret, this long-held mystery that maybe late in life, a few saints can hope to attain. To be content in all things is a command.
- When you root your desires in Him, you’re not suppressing them but letting them be transformed.
Additional Resources:
- Luke 12:15-2
- 2 Corinthians 6:4-10
Dinner Party Questions:
- In what areas of your life do you struggle most with coveting or comparing yourself to others, and how can you reframe those thoughts to align with God's perspective?
- How can we balance having goals and aspirations with the biblical call to contentment and trusting in God's plan?
- How does Paul's secret of contentment apply to the specific challenges or disappointments you're facing right now?
Put It Into Practice
- Each day this week, write down 3 things within your "boundary lines" that you're grateful for.
- Identify one area where you've been "peeking over the fence" at what others have. How can you refocus on what God has given you?
