Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck in your neighbor’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, “Let me take the speck out of your eye”, while the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye.

Do not give what is holy to dogs; and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under foot and turn and maul you.

Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:1-13

Jesus gives us these words to live by in Matthew 7: Ask, Seek, and Knock. Though this phrase is often associated with how we communicate with God in prayer, in this Sunday’s message Lead Pastor Josh Kelsey shows us how these words from Jesus teach us how to act in kingdom relationships, especially in the face of conflict or disagreement. 

Let it go.

• Your first reaction to tension or conflict among kingdom citizens: don’t judge and let it go.
• We will be judged according to the measure that we judge others.
• If you live in a constant state of judgment and you think you’re better than others, it will come back to hurt you.

Assess and evaluate yourself.

• If you can’t let the tension or conflict go, your next step is to take a moment to look at the log in your own eye.
• If you don’t assess and evaluate yourself, you won’t be able to see your brother or sister in Christ clearly.
• The narrow way of relationships is not to deal with the speck in another person’s eye, but to deal first with the log in your own eye.

Assess whether someone is also a citizen of the Kingdom and a follower of Jesus.

• You have to be aware of if the other person follows the same value system as you.
• Don’t throw your pearls to swine. 

If you still can’t get over the conflict or tension, Jesus gives us advice to follow:

Ask, don’t assume

• Ask someone for their perspective on the matter rather than make declarations about how horrible you assume their intentions are.

Seek, don’t dismiss

• When the other person explains their perspective, don’t dismiss them. Seek to understand their perspective.
• Don’t dismiss someone as unwise or immature just because you don’t like what they said.

Knock, don’t force.

• Just because you asked and sought doesn’t mean you’ve been let in.
• Don’t barge in or assume entrance into the other person’s mind or heart. 
• Respect how personal the issue might be to that person and knock before you force your way in.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.