“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord!
O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleas for mercy!
…I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope…”
Psalm 130:1-2, 5
In November 2022, my life fell apart. All that I had, thought I would take into my future…gone without my consent. I have pages of journal entries that sound a lot like the first two verses of this Psalm. Hours logged, tears cried as I was heartbroken before the Lord in prayer-crying out for God to be near.
It wasn’t that I didn’t believe God was near or that I felt like I had to beg God to come close. I knew without a doubt that my messy, broken, and grieving self was seen, held, and carried in the arms of a loving Father.
I didn’t lament to move God’s heart in love towards me; I lamented and cried out from the depths to remind my soul that God is who he says he is. I had lament so I could begin to uproot any lies, speak out all the grief and sorrow I carried word by word, as I poured out the only offering I had.
Lament is worship too.
I have learned that humans have a propensity to do whatever it takes to rush past the hard feelings to get to the praise. Yet, the psalms remind me over and over again how lament is as much a fragrant offering of worship to the Lord as all my shouting, dancing, and joy. Both remind me of my desperate need for a God bigger than myself. Every time I spend worshipping through lament, my soul is reminded that God is exactly who he says he is. His word can be trusted. He has more than enough for me.
Where have you been avoiding your lament because you feel like you should be praising? Today, follow the psalmist's lead and rest in the first two verses until you have poured out the lament to create room for hope to fill its place. Both songs of joy and songs of lament sound beautiful to the Lord.
Brittany Smigielski
God, today I carry my hurt, my grief, my wounds to you with open hands. I don’t want to push past the pain and pretend everything is okay. Instead, I bring it all into your presence and ask that you come close. I pray that you turn your face towards me that I could see your loving gaze in the midst of my lament. Thank you, Father, that you aren’t turned off by my desperation or hurting. Instead, you come close and show me time and time again that you are more than enough for me. Amen.
