“‘You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.”
Matthew 5:27-30
There is profound significance in covenant relationships and God's design for human sexuality. In Genesis, we see how men and women were created to reflect God's image together and rule side by side. When sin enters the scene and disrupts this harmony, it leads to power imbalances and the exploitation of one another. The seventh commandment is a challenge to examine our hearts, recognizing that lust goes beyond physical acts to include how we regard others in our minds. In this week’s Sunday message in Brooklyn, Pastor Amy Perez invites us to consider how we can honor God's design for sexuality and relationships in our own lives, whether married or single.
What is the context?
“Suppose a man enters into marriage with a woman, but she does not please him because he finds something objectionable about her, and so he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house; she then leaves his house.”
Deuteronomy 24:1
- Jesus is responding to divorce because it was rampant in the first century.
- Ervat Davar refers to something indecent, something objectionable, but what is classified as something objectionable?
- Some people view infidelity as the only thing “objectionable”
- Others have a more tolerant and progressive view: What isn’t ervat davar?
- This line of questioning implies, “What is the limit at which a marriage can be torn apart?” In reality we should be asking, “What is God’s vision for marriage?”
From Specific to Sweeping
- Adultery is specifically about violating marriage vows and fidelity. However, Jesus reveals that the sin behind adultery is lust, which anyone can participate in.
- Lust vs Love
- Lust treats the other as an object to meet their need.
- Love treats the other as an image of God and is not primarily about taking but giving.
- Consumer vs Covenant
- Consumer mindset says you have a relationship as long as the vendor is giving you the product at the right price.
- Covenant mindset says my needs are less important than the sustenance of the relationship.
- In a covenant, when you have made a promise, sex becomes like a sacrament: a visible sign of an invisible reality
From Intention to Action
Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
James 1:14-15
- Lust and greed are cut from the same cloth: each are selfish, addicting and lends itself to fantasy.
- Common fantasies we engage in:
- Pornography: Completely focused on self, you don’t even have another person involved, and there is no risk of relational intimacy.
- Fairy Tale Romance: Idolizing marriage as the cure for all loneliness and heartbreak, serving your needs above knowing another person.
- I need sex to live: How well are we supporting those in pursuit of celibacy? Or do we just make sex (and thus romantic love and marriage) into an all-encompassing idol?
From Compromise to Commitment
- Jesus is calling us to take ownership over our desires and not blaming others around us for how we are acting.
- We will crush each other with the weight of our expectations if we do not first love God and get our needs met in him.
- We can return to an elevated view of marriage and sex: it’s a symbol of what a church community of men and women embodying this could be.
Additional Resources:
- 1 Peter 3:1-4, 7
- Song of Solomon 8:7-8
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
- Tools for Temptation by Pastor Ryan Schlachter
Dinner Party Questions:
- How does Jesus' teaching on adultery and lust challenge our modern understanding of relationships and sexuality?
- What are some practical ways we can guard our hearts and minds against lust in today's hyper-sexualized culture?
- In what ways can we shift our focus from merely avoiding sin to actively pursuing a deeper relationship with Christ as the ultimate satisfaction for our needs?
Put It Into Practice:
8 Tools for Temptation
- Recognize that you will be tempted
- Rely on God’s strength, not your own
- Use scripture as a weapon
- Guard your heart and your mind
- Pray that you would be delivered
- Flee from the places where temptation exists
- Stay accountable
- Renew your mind
